Drama

I had an interesting week. Thursday especially. Got in a car accident, (I was with my dad, he was the one driving) but at least we didn't hit the other car. We were going through a light and I guess it was just starting to change, this lady in a white car was waiting to turn onto the highway - and floored it the second her light went green- didn't even see us in front of her. I'm still not sure how we missed her, anyways, we skidded because of the brakes and turned onto the railroad tracks- the part not made for cars to cross. We ended up with only like a couple really flat tires, and some stuff on the underside of the car messed up. No one hurt. Which is amazing to me because even though we didnt hit the other car I don't know how we missed hitting all the poles that are right by that intersection. Definately makes you feel happy to be fine. I don't remember if there was anything else all that interesting this week that happened. It was very cold yesterday. It actually snowed (flurries) at one point. that was odd. I'm going fishing tomorrow morning at like 5 or 6. I don't have to work.
I started writing more on my book (the non-fiction one called Great Lengths) and it's going well. Other than that I'm just enjoying spring. It's so much fun to be outside. Today I spent the entire afternoon after church this morning until church tonight outside. We went walking/hiking, and were goofing off the entire time, I found out I'm not that great at swinging on vines- but there's always room for improvement, right? : ) and then we went walking around downtown to try and find a cool building that might work if my brother ever decides to open up a restaurant (and can get everything for it.) It was a nice day overall.

I was listening to music this morning. Jars of Clay Who we are instead (although their first cd, like 10 yrs. ago was the best) . There's this one song, (number 9 on the cd if anyone's interested) and I was listening to it- and I love how music- at least for me- can really help your day. Of course I'm one of those people that could listen to music practically all day long and not get that bored.
It's really nifty how, I've been living with my grandma, and I remember all these things from childhood. Like how big her yard used to seem. Or just other things around the neighboorhood or house. It's really quite funny. Everything used to seem so big and adventurous. I wish we wouldn't lose that when we got older. There's just a sense of wonder, and of imagination.
Well, as you've noticed I don't really have much to write about today. I'm going to write some (a book I'm writing, or trying to at least) and do some water painting before I head of to work today. And that's about it.

14:14

I put in the time-started writing. Now it's quarter-past 2. One more minute gone in the day. I used to wonder, if we weren't always so obsessed with trying to save time, would we seem to have more of it? Or at least a better time? Typically I have the "best time" when I am completely unaware of what time it is or how much time has passed. If you're too busy looking at the clock, how do you enjoy yourself? Certainly we have reasons for keeping track of the time, and some of them are quite good. So that you're not late for work, so that you don't offend people by showing up 2 hrs. late while they waited (although if we had no way to measure time how could they be offended? you simply arrived when you arrived) so that when you're cooking (esp. for other people) and you have to check on something in a certain amount of time- you don't end up with bricks for bread, etc... although you would think you'd smell something burning by then. : ) I sometimes wonder if someone kept an account of all the time I waste everyday, every week, every month, until the end of my life, how high would that number be? (and I don't mean to imply that people don't need time just to relax, or time to think. I wouldn't consider that wasted time necessarily. I mean time that we spend doing nothing, accomplishing nothing, time that we truly waste when we still had the energy and strength to be doing something better or more productive, something that didn't just please ourselves. ) How much time would you have wasted? It's now nearly half-past 2. I will have taken 15 min. today just to write this. I kind of want to approach time the way money is approached (although slightly different). Don't care too much about it, give away as much as you can to others or the like. Realize it's there to be used on others, but that we won't always have it. So, in some senses, regard it as a paradox- Be concerned how you spend it- because you only have so much of it- But don't care too much. In other words don't grasp it. Don't use it all on yourself. Use it for others. But don't forget to enjoy it too. You might as well, otherwise life will be pretty dry.

bees

wow, I kinda like this Pink! It looks nifty! Anyways.... : ) Talk about beautiful outside.... It's felt like spring for the last 2 weeks, (or at least it seems that way) the grass is green again, the trees are starting to actually have leaves(that's always a nice thing) flowers, flowers, and, guess what? more flowers ! The only downside: bees. everywhere. I don't like 'em too much. Haven't been stung since-hmm...... oh yeah. a canoeing trip when I was like 15 or 16 down to current river missouri (oh the fun: ) and I was wearing yummy smelling sun-screen and evidently this one bee agreed with me. So much so, that it stung my knee, which by that time was already sun-burnt because of an entire day in the sun- despite the sunscreen. I remember smacking the bee off my knee, but I don't know what happened to it. I still retain that I was an innocent bystander- minding my own business. So anyways, I don't like all the bees. I've not been up to much today, I just feel like being goofy. The weather affects people ( I still say it has something to do with Decatur's air and water- if you're from Decatur you know what I'm talking about. -ad I don't think it's necessarily a good thing: ) So anyways, all you guys have a great day! Watch out for all those mean bees!! : )

Romans 5:5

"Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

My middle name

I had a really disappointing day yesterday. I found out that one of the Universities I applied to didn't accept me. So now there's one left- all or nothing. Beyond that I've had quite a few "bad" days lately, and things not always going according to plan. (do they ever? : ) I've always wondered if there wasn't something about my middle name. You see, it's as if I can let things get me down, but they can't keep me down for long. It was crazy, yesterday I was upset- and probably had a good reason to be. But in the middle of it, it's like God was reminding me that I've had a lot of times where things didn't appear to be going right, and almost everything I've done that has been what I was supposed to do- has never really been easy. In the end it requires me to just say "God, you know what you're doing- I've done all that I can on my end, and where ever you lead, that's where I'm supposed to be." I don't want to forget that going to college, going to Ireland, and then Northern Ireland and then going back has been hard. That's the only way it's beautiful. For me to see all the things that shouldn't have worked out that did. Oh, and by the way, what does my middle name have to do with any of this? My middle name is Hope. It' s always been kind of a reminder to me. Through all circumstances, when nothing looks as if it's going right. I always have that, and it doesn't come from me. It something from God that he's placed inside me. That is why I have trouble staying "down" for any long peroid of time. How can I when I look at everything that has happened in my life. What good reason do I have not to hope? God has never lead me wrong and never will. Whatever the outcome......

Glasses

I was reminded something late (or early depending how you look at it) last night. It is so easy to have a bad day or even a bad week. I didn't have the greatest week last week. I know why also. I let things get the better of me, and then, rather than talking to my best friend- I just let it slip. It's so easy to let whatever is going on in our lives get in the way of talking to God. If I had just talked to him about it the first day that I was having a bad day I might have had a better one the next day. Not because any of the circumstances would have been different, I would have just been viewing it all differently. Like putting on a pair of glasses God made for you to fix your vision- that way you can see things properly. I did end up talking to God about all the petty stuff that was bugging me throughout the week, but it would have been nicer if I had seen things with different eyes this whole week. It's far too easy to just think that we can even neglect a little time or a little conversation with God. It affects everything. Maybe sometimes we just feel quite stupid coming to Him with all our tiny problems, especially when we know full well that they are tiny, and so often stupid. But that's the thing, he needs our tiny, stupid problems or attitudes just as much, if not more than our big ones. It's so much easier (i think) to give Him the big ones. But it's the small ones that happen everyday and affect who we are to others everyday.

hope all of you in Northern Ireland are having a great week, and if not, try talking to God, He's really the only thing that will help.

blah....

That's about how I feel today. : ) A one word description that says a lot. The weather has been nice lately, although I'm hoping we'll get some cool thunderstorms soon, I've only seen one since I've been back home and to be honest it was a little disappointing. : ) I am glad it's finally spring!!! Other than that not to much going on at the moment, although I wish there were more. Have you ever had the problem of getting too many job offers and none of them will work? (not enough hours) ? It's definitely a new problem for me. But I'm sure something I can get about 40 hrs with, plus 10 or 15 with the job I already have, will turn up soon. well, I must run, otherwise I'd write more. Miss everyone in Northern Ireland.