goodness

Awhile back I remember a friend writing something relating to God's character, and how we were to know it if we weren't to base it on our circumstances, since our circumstances can be bad indicators of such. And I remember sitting to muse on this for a few moments....and then, without realizing that he had already answered the question himself, at the end, thought "the cross!"
It was then I saw "in the person of Jesus" as the already given answer. I smiled.

I guess I just thought of this because I've been sitting here thinking about how good God is, apart from my circumstances. A lot of my circumstances have in fact just changed in the last 48 hours or so..... but it's funny, I feel his being good as being a prelude to these. I almost feel these circumstances as insignificant, because he was already so good, and his being good had nothing to do with these particular circumstances, it has to do with who he is and what has already been fulfilled. he didn't have to do any of it(changing my circumstances) to somehow be further classified as good. I'm kind of out of words at this point. And that's really ok.
"He is good" doesn't quite encompass it, but it's all I've got. Usually at this point I steal someone's words when mine aren't adequate (quote) but, really, maybe you should just go read the whole book of psalms, or spend a few days in the woods, or sit silent under the stars, or breathe the morning air as the sun is waking.
maybe you'll start to understand what 'good' means...
and maybe you'll be astonished.

some simplicity

I wonder what it would look like to live a life that was entirely held captive by who Jesus is. I wonder what that reality would look like. I know some days I am far from it. And some days he feels so close that it's a wonder I can breathe, it's a wonder it doesn't catch in my chest because of the overwhelming wonder.

I seem to always think I can be content with very little....
But we don't get to choose the situation that we are to be content in. It is given to us, and we are to be content within that situation. We are to trust in that situation. Not another. I really don't have any idea what all this is about sometimes, and my head can get severely jumbled trying to 'figure it all out' , whatever that means (it seems to accomplish very little).
I know I am always re-learning that God is good.
He really is.
And that He is the only thing to be content in.

into the woods

I'm going out to the woods soon.
I'm going to learn silence again. I'm going to untangle myself from all the distractions I am so adept at entangling myself in.
I'm going to the woods to find Jesus, and only him. Not my own version, or anyone else's, just him- who he really is.
I am going so that my eyes will be reawakened to wonder, and I can stand in awe of the one who can speak truth into existence.
I am going so that I might remember, away from the chaos and deceptions of life, why I am really here, and what this life means. I am going to rediscover a story that I am entwined in, that grows around me like the ivy climbing toward the clouds on the trees.

Maybe that's a lot to be going to the woods for.

especially in 3 days.
well.
an adventure. even a small one.

I'm taking quiet steps through the sunny cemetery this morning; deliberate in my coming, deliberate in my thinking- only with no knowledge of what thoughts will come. It is quiet here- as regards human sounds- but the birdsong, the early spring singing- it is clear, it echoes and fills the air.
I pass by the monuments we make for peoples' lives. They surround me, covering the landscape and the hillsides. They say very little about it all, really; a piece of stone etched with a name, two dates, and if you are fortunate, maybe a phrase- some sort of wish or identifying mark. And to the stranger, their entire life is encapsulated in this single piece of stone. I look at the names and dates, I wonder what their stories are, what their lives were made of. And I wonder what kinds of stories we have, what sorts we will leave, and what bits of story will outlast us. I wonder if we will be courageous enough to leave any stories of the type that stay around, I wonder if we live lives worth the telling. I know a story that has outlived the physical reality of someone by about two-thousand years and running. But it wasn't an easy story to live.

Why do we dare give so much respect and reverence...and even care, to people who are no longer here, and yet the ones who still are....?
I can't deny I really like cemetery's. They are like gardens full of windy roads, sculptures, interesting stories (or so my imagination suspects) and very few people. Part of me is at odds with this though. It almost seems like we are trying to resurrect eden for our dead. We make these places filled with peace, stillness and beauty. But all for a body in a casket? Why do we not fill our world with more of this for the living? Maybe it is the ache for what creation was intended to be, maybe the hope that there is something else- after all this, displayed in our choice of landscaping for graves.
But someday we will see the world whole.
It won't be with these bodies, and it won't be filled with meager cemeteries and wishful thinking.
It will be bright and full.
So much so that these words do it an injustice due to inadequacy.