if you cry enough can you run out of tears?

i think i want to.
but can you love anyone or anything without tears?

i don't think it's possible. and i know in the end i don't want to be indifferent.

homesick for everywhere

Deepest ache of our soul
Brightest catch of stars,
The reason I am homesick for everywhere.
The roaring quake of our fear-
Fear built of awe- and too much goodness to fit;
Burst through crafted cardboard boxes
and name-tags we've put on.
Bring the shining of morning mists,
The comfort of fire in the winter snows.
Use the notes that grab the words
from our gut,
and rip and toss-
the ones that make us see the world different.
Those notes that move our love,
Form the insides and define beauty to our eye.
The moments that contradict, the movings with no explanation.
The fairy dust our feet float on
Clouds that grow above our nature
The truth that rests outside our words
Gathers in the precision that remains indescribable......

and falls from the heavens like the grace we call snow.
Left to lie, for all to decide.

looking around......

and here are some other reasons why I don't support the US government.

tell me where any of that sounds like Christ or what he lived.

I really should be studying right now. Instead I am listening to music to drown out the so-called music from downstairs (at the space) (yeah, tonight isn't exactly....amazing.... so far. )
and I just read this:
http://www.truthout.org/110508R
very disturbing. evidently lots of civilians get killed in war. ....who knew?
yeah, i should probably go a little easy on the sarcasm or i will start to sound really cynical.

must go before i type something i regret

for those of you who might feel the same as me :

http://www.patrolmag.com/times/922/how-shall-we-then-vote

and this shouldn't be offensive, he isn't saying don't vote-simply that not voting is not wrong. Thank you derek webb.....for shedding some common sense on this subject. : )

pumpkins and gold

I am full of 'wishes' right now, (for lack of a better word) shall I make a list? hmmm.... I think I shall, and it will go something like this:

1) that I had a tree house to escape up into tonight, in a huge tree-the kind with golden leaves (this time of year) and a deep dark trunk, and curvy elegant branches that reached toward the moon.
2) that my computer would break. I wouldn't be typing this. ...maybe i shouldn't wish for it to break? ....maybe just that i was in a time and place where there were none.
3) the kind of rain they get in Oregon and Ireland.
4) that roof in india,....and the warm breeze.....
5)to be with a few people that are just content to be. nothing elaborate.
6) to be in a fairy tale.
7) a very small cabin with a fireplace, hot chocolate or tea....blankets, and someone to have good conversation with....or good silence with. take your pick.
8) a good book(story), a deserted house, no plans, free time without a limit, and ....a blanket....and a seat by a window.

....I will be honest, most of my idealizing involves coziness, and one form or other of either blankets or something warm to drink, or preferably both.

As to #6, I would like to hold out hope that I am already in one. Even though it always looks different than I would expect.
that's kind of the point, right?

well. nothing elaborate for tonight. The city just always makes me long for escape, or at least simplicity.
And the country....well, it sometimes made me long for the city.....at least I used to think
at the time, but I don't think it was ever quite as true as I thought.

oh and I forgot #9 ....so here's #9

9) a pumpkin patch, hay ride and don't forget: a maize maze. oh bliss.

and no, i'm not one of those 'ten-point people'

there's only 9.
deal with it.