not the future, nor the past, Now

So I've been avoiding my blogspot......because my last blog was pretty serious and I don't know, I just didn't feel like writing anything on it. The last 3 or 4 days have been great. I was pretty upset thursday, and alot of friday too....although not really crying like I was thursday. And it was great, the thing that made the last few days so much better has been that I've been hanging out with friends, and just enjoying life. And something else. I guess I'm always looking for things that can be learnt from situations in life. Not that they necessarily happen for the sole purpose of teaching you things, but you can nearly always learn something worth learning from them. At least then you don't just take horrible things from life, you learn things. I should learn to be a better christian (in it's true meaning, a mirror of christ, etc...) We only have each day to do that in, and that is our whole purpose anyways, isn't it? Maybe this sounds really crazy, but can you really wait until you get to see God? Maybe something in this life makes us afraid of death... (but I don't think it's really death we're afraid of) I think we're afraid of the uncertain. It seems like, to me, the one thing people search for and want more than anything in this world is security. We just look for it in different things: love, money, a house, a family, job, fame, success, independence. But the one thing we can't prevent is our own deaths. We have no control over that. eventually we die. People don't like talking about it unless they have to. They think it's morbid. (which, I mean, I guess technically it is) Anyways, what I'm getting at, is if we have security (God) we shouldn't really be afraid of death, we shouldn't really fear the unknown.... Another point, and I probably haven't been doing the greatest job of this, is living everyday. I mean doing everything you can in this day to be christ. To be thankful, and kind, and realize that we live in now, not the future or the past. And to matt- thank you for befriending me my first half-week in Northern Ireland, and for the midnight run to the petrol station to get a some galaxy chocolate that you said I had to try. Thank you for helping to remind me that life should not be wasted, and that every day is a chance to be like Christ.