ordinary adventures

It seems like it's been absolute ages since I've written. Or possibly better phrased: really, truly written. Does that make sense? I've been dying for a chance to really write, it seems like, for a couple months now. I guess I can make all kinds of excuses, I've been busy, haven't had the time on the computer, loads of things and distractions. They all sound like really bad reasons now.
I was lying on the floor earlier listening to Jason Mraz.... and was so rudely interrupted by the realization that somehow there was a wasp in my room (who I might add didn't sound very happy) buzzing around on the ceiling. I don't like bees, or wasps, or for that matter (I'm pretty sure) anything with a stinger..... So I hastily left my room. I'm at a loss now as to what happened to the wasp....maybe it got back outside... all I know is it's no longer within viewing or hearing, So I resumed the lying on the floor and listening to Jason Mraz... One of my favorite things to do, listen to music and think. It is a great hobby. (I've not actually decided whether this is a waste of time or not, some people might say so, but I think unless you should be doing something else, it's not.) For me it is a great way to relax, think, and talk to God. I typically have interesting conversations with him. So I was lying there, listening, and being perfectly content... ok, maybe not perfectly, but I was content. There are so many different things to do in life, and to be honest I like the moments best when it doesn't really matter what I end up doing, so long as I'm following God. The moments where I feel like an adventurer but at the same time not so much. Any option is available to me, God has free chance to take me or use me for what he will- without me worrying my little head about it, great adventures don't seem so massive. On the other hand, He makes every mundane thing about living a perfectly 'ordinary' (although I still haven't figured out the true meaning of that word) life, seem like some huge adventure.... So you see it's kind of backwards. The big things don't seem impossible or overwhelming, the little things don't seem so boring or meaningless. That is what happens... I like days, or moments when I am fully aware of this, it makes me see life as it should be. Maybe it makes me live life as it was meant to be lived... too bad I don't have that mindset constantly.

Uncertainty-The one thing people usually fear most, and the one thing that usually leads to the most fear. I used to hate it. Sometimes I still do. The problem with that is that life is uncertain. We spend most of our lives struggling and wresting with that fact. Fighting against it, doing everything in our power to prevent it or ignore it and pretend it's not there, hoping that someday we will have accomplished the impossible and actually wished uncertainty away through our own hard work. Then something happens and you realize that will never happen, we have limited power. The problem is most people still continue to struggle with uncertainty their entire lives, hoping to get the better of it in the end rather than finding something that is certain and no longer worrying about the rest. Often times people who do find the something that is certain (I am talking about God, in case you've not figured that out yet) still fear the uncertain, which makes no sense to me, because something that contains everything certain knows everything we deem uncertain. Therefore canceling it out. Just not necessarily from our view point. We still have no idea what can, will, or could happen. But we know one who does. We still have a very limited power over the things that do happen. But we know someone who has power to control everything. Why do we still fear uncertainty? could it be that we don't trust the one person we should? There is no other reason. If you do trust Him, then in essence uncertainty does not exist. How can it if you know complete Certainty? - there is no room left for uncertainty.
I could almost laugh at myself right now. To have no fears, no worries, - Jesus wasn't being sarcastic when he said don't worry about things. You see, he knew God, truly and fully, he understood what it meant to know him, to trust him. And you see if only we would listen, we would be perfectly content. Because if we know God we realize he has the best intentions for us, he know what we want, what we need, and what will make us actually happy. How do we manage to hit it so far off the mark nearly everytime? How do we manage to convince ourselves that we aren't so entirely wrapped up and involved in every way with trusting God, knowing God, that seperation from that seems so completely impossible, unconceivable... that we would never dream of it? Who knew worrying had such large implications?
Anyways, must say before I go for now, that I'm in a very appreciative mood, and thank you to the creator of this all..... life is overwhelming, and the times when it is most real, and yet not so are the times when I can see you the clearest.