Autumn Leaves

I was walking around today, and I couldn't help but wonder how something dying could be so beautiful. Do you think our lives are kind of like that? like the leaves? They change from season to season, but autumn leaves..... wow. If our lives are lived right do they show this hidden brilliance right before they're over? Is it as though in an instant the lives we've lived and the things we've done make more sense, point to something beautiful? to God? Maybe some sort of wisdom is revealed in that moment that all the other things clogging our lives up before kept hidden. maybe it's then when we begin to realize what this whole life thing was really all about.
In the last book of the chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis writes that the reason we found certain things joyful, certain things beautiful, etc... in this life, in this world, is because those things or moments were bits or small reflections of heaven- of real reality...
The only reason there is any beauty in this world, the only reason there is any joy, any good, is because it came from God, reflects to God, speaks of God...whether we are always conscious of it or not.
The thought is completely overwhelming. To know that the things we find beautiful and breathtaking are only in small comparison.....

I was riding the bus today. bus people are interesting. you meet all types, I'm shy, so I don't say much unless spoken to, but sometimes the bits of conversation you hear are interesting. Today, one lady was talki;ng about God, and how we'll understand everything when we get to heaven. I know that's the typical view, and I'm not arguing against it. But I think it's more that when we see God, we'll realize what it was all about. I'm not sure we'll even realize everything, (as we think of it) maybe it will be everything falling into place because God is there and we are there with Him. Maybe realizing everything will be about realizing that it was never the knowledge itself that we really wanted. We don't need to know everything. By knowing God, we do know everything. Maybe we just never thought about it like that while we were here, stuck on this earth.

life

I guess this post will be about life ( yep, that's a bit general) that's what all my writing is about, and if it isn't, it should be. I recently finished a book by an author I really, really love reading- (through painted deserts, by don miller) I also recently got back from a friend's wedding in another state. I've been frustrated with myself, for in someways forgetting that I don't need all this STUFF. I don't live an extravagent life by any means, but I think there have been times in my life where I go without many things, and guess what, you don't really need them... you are happier without them... the more you buy and spend, the more you want and think you need. It's a disease. I think most american's and probably alot of other countries are affected by it. In this book, well, I'll just sum it up by saying, he got away from all that, found out that life is about much more than what commercials would have you believe, and was much happier for it. It's not that hard for me to get away from it in Northern Ireland, I have a limited amount of money over there, and most of it- if not all, goes for food and rent. It's not hard in a place that beautiful, with friends, and things to do to realize that commercials do not hold my dreams, and they don't hold my heart.
What is this life really all about?
you won't find the answer to that question unless you really mean it, unless you really want the answer.....and you probably won't be able to give a good description of it once you have found out, but you will be able to live it.
I wonder what we've done to ourselves, how all this greed developed, how everything centers around ourselves. It's really almost funny. why are we so attracted by all this stuff? what good does it do us? Really, honestly, what good does it do us? can you see the humor in it?

I'm back

Here I am, left apologizing once again, (to the very few if any people who still read this) for having not blogged in ages. The excuse is the same as the previous time, however, I miss writing. I haven't been writing much lately, and I miss it. It feels as though all the "deep" thoughts I have or reminiscing I do, are no longer in existence, or are just as easily forgotten after they are gone-with no record left. Anyways, here's a new post, I'm not sure what it's going to be about yet : )